I just spent the last half hour talking about myself in the third person. Well, it was talking about my book, and saying that I have a friend, and giving this woman a treatment of the book. And she was asking so many questions about bi-polar, so I continued to express my amazment with the disorder, and talked to her about it forever. I told her in a way I'm kindof jelous that she (Being me) has so much energy... and she said: "You shouldn't be jelous. It's better to be average, and normal, and sain, than crazy and have that issue..."

Hmmmph. Is it better to be average than bat-shit insane? Well, at least I have medication.

It's the Little Things in Life....

I found out what happens when you nix Monday... you get fired.

So, because of my basically rampant drug use, I've now been let go from two jobs.

Through the power of keen insight, and an unbelievably acute sense of observation, this tells me that I need to stop doing drugs. So, I do... kindof.

Katie's feelings for week of 8/1/06

Monday: Sleep all day.

Tuesday: Informed that I am being fired. Tell god if my boss will reconsider and I don't get fired, I'll never do drugs again. I then go out that night and do drugs; God sees this, and commences with the firing.

Wednesday: Was a big day, so this will be in a more linear "bullet point" form.
- Have a heart to heart with Rich, in which he tells me that I have a disease that I cannot control, and I think: "I don't have a disease, I have a drug problem."
- Realize my drug problem because I'm still coming down off of coke, and deside that enough is enough... I need to stop doing drugs.
- Proceed to drive to the valley to buy my last 8 pain pills, before checking myself into medical-detox.
- My dealer drives me to a methadone clinic to check it out, right after he sells me 8, and right before I take 4 of them.
- I feel better and start to call everyone I know to tell them about my drug problem and the fact that I am getting help.
- I go to medical-detox guy who is cool. He gives me valume which is cool. I don't drive home that night, but go the next day.

Thursday: I begin withdrawals, they suck, so I get three more. Drive down to San Diego, on valume, which makes my legs hurt less, but does not take away the cravings.
Friday: At home I can only think about NORCO. All the time. When I'm awake, sleeping, I have a dream about a) taking them, b) buying them, but not taking them c) talking about not taking them d) trying to find someone to buy them from. It's obsessive, and to top it all off, my mother drags me with her to go get her prescription filled for Cipro.

So here is me: obsessively thinking about prescription pain medication.
Here is my location: a pharmacy with tons of people around me, half of which are probably in pain, and a quarter more, probably stupid, and so all I can think is how I can possibly connive somebody's vicodine from them... Not good.

Sat: Sleep. Run. Eat. Go to the bathroom. Something I find novel.

Sun: Stop thinking about Pain Killers.

My Mania comes back in full mutherfuckingforce, and I'm tired of being inside the house. So tired that I drive upto L.A. for the simple reason of hanging out with you. Sun night: I drink with you. I drink with Kyle. I find a boy to take home with me so I can talk at him. For awhile. This amuses me, and him as well, though I think he may have a girlfriend.

It's the little things in life that keep it interesting. Too bad my little things have pituitary problems which cause abnormally large growth.

Let's just nix Monday and see how it goes.

Alright, so...

Sunday. Was. Long.

Started at the Farmer's Market looking like death beaten with an ugly stick which only got 15 minutes of actual sleep because that respective stick is slightly retarded. A slow start ended with a huge bang when I resolved to not-give-a-fuck and sold about 45 bottles of oil and vinegar. And about three bottles of body Vanilla stuff. I, however, could not muster up the courage or the insanity to tell the people buying the Vanilla paste that, yes, it can be used as a aphrodisiac for men, and yes, it probably does taste good on skin. However, it was Sunday morning and there were children around so, no, I'm not going to go into detail about something that really shouldn't be discussed unless there is a significant amount of alcohol involved when I really don't know these people very well anyway.

Things Katie said to customers as they were walking by:

"I have Basil & Garlic oil, I've got Apricot & Lavender, Cherry, and Blackberry Vanilla Balsamic Vinegar, and I also have Strawberry Chipotle Balsamic Vinegar, though I really don't know why because honestly I can't think of one fucking thing to do with it, and it doesn't taste very good anyway..."

Things Katie said to a lesbian couple that bought four bottles of Vinegar:

"It's really hot today, actually it WAS hot, but then it wasn't and now it's hot and muggy, and I have this whole apocalyptic vision of the weather, that were really going into this era of epic global warming, and then with the war in the middle east right now, I think the world is going to end soon, really... and I'm here selling oil and vinegar..."

Response: dumbfounded, "You're really funny," earnest laugh,

Katie: straight face "I'm not kidding."

Things other vendors said to Katie after I went on diatribe about world coming to end:

"I don't know how you do it, but you really are the only one who ever has people, not only come up to your stand, but who sells to people, it's amazing."

Yes, that is a little bit bragatory, but it was complimentary, and I wanted to share.

I finished up working farmers market then went home to travel around Venice and take pictures of people with Sean who was in town. Other than that, I went to bed at around midnight... then woke up at about 10... p.m.

Ack. Medication with not much sleep on Saturday night = no go for anything for Monday.

Awesome.